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Your Toddlers "Independent" Phase Here's something I am sure many parents will resonate with. My youngest son Blair is 2 and a half and is going through his "Big Boy" phase.. All of a sudden he is Mr independent! Seemingly overnight he can put on his own shoes (only velcro of course), put on his own shirt (although usually back to front and inside out), eat with a knife and fork (while only spilling small amounts on the floor and himself) and a host of other tasks that it seems just yesterday were part of my job description as te parent of a toddler. It is an interesting time for parents for a few reasons. I know personally I don't like to stifle his efforts by taking over when he tries to do something new by himself and I love to watch him figure it out and start to feel confident and independent within himself. But on the other hand a new level of care needs to be taken to ensure that none of these new skills or talents results in harm or pain for him. I'm sure you know the feeling watching them putting that fork into their mouths with a shaky hand or walking around with their shirt over their head in an attempt to get it on, while treading painfully close to the sharp edge of that table! I think it is for this reason that alot of parents unknowingly hamper their childrens efforts during this vitally important part of their child's life. In the ongoing and instinctively occuring urge to protect and guide a child, it is not hard to cross the line into inhibiting growth and progress. Yes we can't help it that we want to stop our bubs from falling (especially when trying to walk on that hard surface) and spilling things and screwing up, but really its from these mistakes that a child learns some of their most valuable lessons. And the more mistakes a child makes the better they become and the faster they learn. Sometimes we forget that it is at this time, a child's brain is growing at its fastest, and absorbing more information than at any other time of their life. While the growth of our own brains is plodding along (for some of us even starting to reverse), we subconciously find it hard to keep up with how fast they are changing and developing and because of this can tend to feel a subconcious urge to slow things down so that we can control them. Ok before you get too scared, don't worry. It is a natural occurence. My message is (and it applies as much to adults as it does to your toddler) let your child fall, let them fail and if you can, educate them that its ok. Don't run over to them with that worried face if they fall. Let them know making mistakes is how we learn. Sure they will end up with a bruised knee or some mild embarassment but they will also take away a valuable reference experience and a new mould with which to perceive their world from that point on. Personally I love building my childrens sense of self belief, letting them be independent, letting them fail and teaching them to learn and I strongly believe that if more parents did too, we would have happier toddlers who will one day make a happier world. By Sarah Ashley
This article was posted on April 05, 2006
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